闲聊。

学期假期开始后都忙着找活动

烹饪,绘画,音乐,跑步,逛街

这些活动,好像真的很充实

但我没有感觉到,那份充实

好像少了些什么

说不清,也没法说清

*

''在KL过得好吗?''

他朦胧地问

突然间的闲聊,我不习惯

''不好,没有东西做,我好无聊''

我不明白为何自己这样说

难道所有活动都没有意义?

''KL很多地方逛啊,我很想念那里''

''我出生就在这儿了,你觉得还能有什么好玩的?''

片刻沉默,他继续说

''我在这边也很无聊''

''是吗?我还以为外国很好玩''

太奢侈了吧,明明就在国外了,怎么无聊

''你在KL久了,当然觉得它不好玩了,是吧?''

''...是啊''

无奈,他总是让我无法反驳

''等我回来了,我去找你''

''啊?找我干吗?''

''等你看着我怀念KL的样子你就不无聊了啊''

''你记得给我买纪念品就行了''

*

短短的闲聊

我才发现,我不是没有充实感

我只是想去别的地方,看别的风景

听着朋友说在KL发生过的琐碎事情

才发现原来自己的地方说起来,也挺怀念的

才发现他不在,好像连能捉弄的人都少了

KL现在很多高楼大厦了
小孩子们都没有以前那么活泼了

你都不在这里让我欺负了
我都找不到像你一样的好朋友了

*

有些风景,你看到厌倦了
离开了才觉得特别

有些人,你要到他们离开了
才发现他们原来那么好

有些时候,你真的需要好好珍惜

说不定哪一天,他真的会离开

然后留下你一个人后悔

What?

This is a bit boring,bear with me :)

*

They always hang out together

Both of them talk about everything

Everything, but feelings

Seems like the only forbidden area of topics

It's not because they are waiting for each other to start the topic

Because they know

Whoever starts it puts both of them into an awkward situation

Where they may not be friends anymore
Where they cannot laugh,cry or hug together anymore
Where they couldn't share everything with each other anymore

Where nothing will be the same anymore

Neither of them have the courage

What do you think about them in the future?

I'd only imagine some day

One of them might gather enough courage

To tell the other one

'I love you

Maybe as a friend
Maybe as a spouse
Maybe as my family

Whichever it is,I love you'

And the other one would be like

'WHAT? I didn't hear you the first time'

And things get even better after that

*

I'm not trying to focus everything on love as a valentine or boy/girlfriend

You can have a bad ending after one of them said it like:

-Maybe they start pissing each other off because they knew each other too well?
-Things got awkward,and they start drifting off and revert to strangers

I chose happy ending just because I want to be positive

All I wanted to say is words have the tendency to affect someone
Your words may influence someone easily

whether in a positive or negative way

Sometimes it's best to shut up and listen
Sometimes you just need to share your feelings so people wouldn't misunderstand

And sometimes,it's a good way to step closer to the people you love

此刻情绪化

我真的没什么用华语来写部落格
今天就特别想用华语

没有为什么

*

很多人都告诉我
你需要积极一点

很多事情,不是我不积极
也不是我不想去做

多的时候我只是害怕和不敢

我害怕的是以往跌过的痛
害怕会得到一样的成果

我不敢是因为我不相信
我不信任何没有保障的东西

生活不是数学
我不能把 '可能' 和 '不可能' 都计算出来

即使成功的机率是99%
还有一个1%呢

虽说有些事情真的该自己去尝试

我只是想说
我试了,可是我的努力换来了心碎,眼泪和让自己颓废的理由

如果真的可以看到自己的成功率
我是多努力也愿意

所有东西都需要去争取

我很愿意争取

但耐心和心志会被一点一点削薄

我拼命地向机会求婚
为的是听到 '我愿意' 时的幸福感

我也会累

亲爱的,你何时才会嫁给我?

*

最近真的很累

'不要累坏了'
'你该休息了'

这时候真的很有用

多希望自己在飞越大海的时刻
有那么一个会关心自己的人

我不贪心,一个就好
可以吗?

再快的车也要停下来加油
再豪华的船也需要靠岸

再坚强的人总需要一个港湾
就像再独立的人总需要归属感

概括以上,我过得还好
只是偶尔会像这样情绪化一下

生活就是要会享受,要开心

可如果大家都只有同一张笑脸时
这不是和没有感情一样吗

And so I blogged

I have a habit of watching good films again and again

That's right,GOOD films

Those that made you felt like watching it once is not enough

My personal favourite production team is Studio Ghibli or Pixar

Both of them produces meaningful animated movies

*try finding some of the movies online,it's amazing*

Back to my habit

I watch this movie-Spirited Away from time to time,every year

At least 5 times annually

No,I'm not really childish

I don't think watching animated films or cartoons is childish either

Anyway,it's not that I missed my childhood or anything *sometimes I'm*

Only this movie gives me different feelings every time I watch it

When I was 10,this movie just came out

No doubt it gave me a great time,but I only thought of 'How nice,she gets to go back now'

At 13,I starts wondering how would she end up if she can't go back to the real world

Maybe she'll start a new life there,idk

At 15,I realize I'm just like her,I don't know how to handle anything by myself

In other words,I'm a spoiled brat

At 18,which happens to be now

I read the making of this film,the concept,everything

Apparently,Hayao Miyazaki had the imagination of a thousand kids

This movie was solely based on his thinking of 'Don't Gods get tired?' at the first place

The characters are added in to this thinking,

Many things have their own special meaning,every detail is special

There's a concept of the world I like there

Real names are the first requirement to escape the world

I don't wanna bored you with everything I read,

If you really wanna know how special it is,just buy the book :D

This little path way in Penang reminded me of the movie somehow

*         *          *

Personally I think television shows nowadays are kinda crappy

Studio Ghibli & Pixar touches everyone with their different concepts in every movie they made

Pixar often show a different perspective of viewing things from their films

A rat that cooks,a house that flies,toys with feelings

We call that 'thinking out of the box!'

Studio Ghibli is where Hayao Miyazaki let imaginations fly around

He made movies for every children,from the small ones to the big ones,like me

Each movie was tailored for a specific age group 

In his movies,he often reminds people

to be grateful,to be brave,

to love, to let go, to grow up

That's what many real life films are missing

'Once you have the memories you'll never forget,you just need to remember,or find it,in your heart'

I miss my secondary school life recently,this was just what I needed

After a few weeks of uni,it finally hit me

I really miss you guys,hope everyone is doing well now

What is UNI/College Life?

The title said it all
So,what is UNI/College life like?

I wonder how many form 5 can't wait to grow up and go to Uni right now

I just had few classes today
I don't think everyone is looking it my way

Seriously,Uni is fun,tons of fun
but at the same time,it is harsh and tough

It's not like secondary school or high school where you have teachers to tell you what to do

By the time you got into a college or uni
You should know how to handle things yourself

At this time,
most people say you find what career you wanna have,what you wanna do in the future
Who you are,what do you want etc.

The so-called 'finding yourself'

For me,it's not like that
Going to Uni made me start to realize who I am actually,not who I wanna be

People can't just say 'I wanna be a doctor' and becomes one for real
*unless you're really really rich*

We find what our specialties are and focus on it,
that's why we get to choose what subjects we're going to take

Also,it's not all about the straight As SPM students

There're loads of student in M'sia can do that now,it's not much of a big deal

Well,maybe to them it is a big deal,idk

The problem is,you can't be a jack of all trades but master of none

You gotta have a special talent or something like that to be outstanding

Or you can just study all the things you can,
and start finding companies and jobs as soon as you graduate

There are too many universities graduates nowadays,so you're just one of them
so unfortunately,unlike those who have a priority card,you need to buy it before it runs out

Okay,that's how I see the future roads or whatever you called it

*
Now I'm talking about friends
I had enough drama in secondary school and I don't want it in my Uni life

Don't take everything so freakin' personal

Unless you're really insecure and I hurt you,then I'm sorry

With all the studies and exams we have to do,we can really use some friendships in here

I can't ask anyone to stop backstabbing me since you're 'back'stabbing me

If you're 13-16,I can just ignore you since you don't have any idea what life is
If you're 85-90 and senile,I would get you some tea and still smile at you

But if you're about my age,I'd only say this:

'Grow the f**k up'

I get it that everyone must have something to talk about someone else
That's part of a friendship too

But if you're really my friend,tell me in my face
like my Hot Blood Gang did

Then again,if I don't have someone talking behind me
it wouldn't prove that I'm good enough to make someone jealous

If that certain someone isn't your friend at all,cheers!
That just meant you have something better than them

anyways,that's how I view my new life recently :D

*

I just attended few classes,I don't have a full view of my uni life yet

But wanting to meet someone that you know in my campus is kinda hard
Even if we kept on asking each other 'When are you having a break?' 'Where the hell are you?!'

It's hard,really hard,at the end we need to wait for the other one to finish class just to meet up

To all who are going to uni or college,enjoy it while you can! :)