Emotional

So.....I've finally completed my unfinished task 2 years ago
Which is to join the Famine 30 hour camp with my friends

I was too busy to feel anything then, but I really want to be emotional now.

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First, I'm very very sad about the recent MH17 incident.
I was checking the news in a coffee shop, hoping they have landed somewhere else

When I got home,it's confirmed. It was shot down.

Now, let's not talk about who shot down the plane.
298 humans, living, breathing humans were shot down along the plane.
Those were innocent people eager to go home, travel, to meet their families and loved ones.

Some of the victims are actually friends with my own friends.
I cried so hard, and felt so sorry for the victims just by watching the news.

I don't know about you, but I'm easily affected when someone is sad or in pain.

Just yesterday, I received news that my high school teacher passed away due to cancer.
I knew that she was diagnosed with cancer for a while now, but I've always thought that a strong woman like her can win the battle.
She did not.
I couldn't stop being sad.

Then, I thought about how lucky I am, but immediately sadden by the fact that people can leave at anytime.

These news make me wonder:
Am I only a temporary guest in your life?
Am I nothing but a mere props in your life?

...Will I be missed, if I'm gone?

*

You see, life is a delicate, beautiful and fragile wonder.
It takes without giving notice and may surprise you at times.

Knowing that it's limited
You want to live fully.
Study, meet your love,get a job,get a car,get a house,have a family & live happily ever after.

Then there's me.
I think the most inspiring thing you can do in life is that you make someone feel better.
It's a tiny thought, but hear me out.
To make your life a little brighter, to let you know I'm here
I will listen, I will share, I would give my heart & let you know:

"You know what? Life isn't that bad after all!"

If I've made you feel that way, I've accomplished my goal.
However....will you remember me?
When you found new friends, met your love interest, or got a new life...
and slowly blend into other circles and have no time for the past.

Will you remember me?

Will you remember someone, who will rush to your side when you need help
To listen to your untold stories & never judge
To share your happiness and sadness
To give you a sense of belonging

That someone who was with you in the dark, help you find the light, and get you out?

I really don't know.
I will always remember you though.

Because I know, for a short while,
I was your friend
I was your fan
I was your family
I was your only way out
I was the light.

But lights, they fade, they will be out of power and burn out if unattended.

Some day, if I burn out, will I be easily replaced?

I can only hope, you bring lights, into other people's hearts.
That's all I ask.

*

People often asked, you don't look like the type who will worry a lot and be sad, why this?

You know what, I've kept my distance so well that you can only see my smile, yet not the fear & tears.

I want my friends to be good, to live well, to never worried about me.

If you don't miss me, I don't blame you. I don't want to see sadness on your face.
I am just a tiny dust in this universe, trying to make a difference.

Again, my heartfelt condolences goes out to everyone who has someone on MH17 that they missed dearly.